Monday, December 16, 2013

Our Dangerous Life

A few weeks ago, I came downstairs to find that a pot I had put on the stove was glowing red hot and the aluminum
There are large quantities of Dihydrogen monoxide in this image
coating on the bottom was dripping in blobs into the burner. I turned the burner off and tried to recover from my shock.
This unfortunate circumstance, of course, would never have happened if all of the substance contained in the pot had not evaporated. The substance is referred to as dihydrogen monoxide.
What is dihydrogen monoxide?
It is a colorless liquid which his highly volatile at high temperatures and is capable of inflicting severe burns. In its solid state, it can cause severe tissue damage. Surprisingly enough, recent studies of this substance are showing that it is being used extensively in everyday products; most alarmingly in pesticides, nuclear power plants and the milk industry. Dihydrogen monoxide has been polluting our rivers and lakes for generations and may even be contributing to climate change. It is a key component in acid rain and can cause corrosion in many metals. Studies show that both humans and animals can become dependent on dihydrogen monoxide and athletes ingest it to increase their performance.
Deaths due to inhalation of dihydrogen monoxide number in the millions. During World War II, it was not the German torpedoes that killed sailors, it was dihydrogen monoxide. Recently many pacific countries have been hard hit when dihydrogen monoxide, which is a major component in hurricanes, tornadoes and tsunamis, ravaged their shores.
Despite all these hazards, dihydrogen monoxide is a common additive in everything from baby formula to ice cream. Industries use this substance extensively in the production of multiple household items without telling their consumers. Why? Because it’s cheap and readily available.
As alarming as it may seem, this highly dangerous substance is key to our existence. Scientists agree that without dihydrogen monoxide, life on earth would be impossible. 60% of the average
human’s body weight is dihydrogen monoxide and we require 2.2 liters a day to continue functioning normally. Being deprived of dihydrogen monoxide for just three days leads to almost certain death.
So what can you do to help? Well, nothing. Dihydrogen monoxide is constantly being renewed through the weather cycle and there are vast quantities underground and locked in the oceans. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t ban the stuff. The most you can do is be thankful it exists.
Dihydrogen monoxide is a threat to our existence, but it is also key in supporting us. Nothing could grow without it. Scientists call it H2O, others prefer to refer to it as earth juice. Me? I just call it water.


Monday, December 2, 2013